May 2013
teamladsvsteamgents:
pastalad:
pastalad:
so this morning my dad said
“hey we got some tomatos”
and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS
WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS
JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING
WHERE DID HE GET THE TOMATOES?!?!?!?!?!?! IT’S KILLING...
doglets:
actually all of my systems are nervous
pizza:
your favourite celebrity could be pooping right now
sariandra:
z1c:
being 20+ on tumblr
Being 30+ on Tumblr
pastelbat:
The only dates i get are updates
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
1 tag
2 tags
I wish I didn’t get sick. I can’t go anywhere by myself like I use to…I can’t go back to school. My life changed so much because of one illness. I just want to go back to where I use to be. SIGH.
brandoncargoshortsdavis:
nicklugo:
i love girls i love boobs and butts and how nice they smell and legs and nice hair and soft skin girls rock
This guy likes the way butts smell
So, I gave two friends tickets for The Hangover 3 premiere tonight and they didn’t thank me for them. And they ditched me at the premiere too! So, should I send a text saying like…’You’re welcome for the tickets’ ? Or or or or like…ignore it because they are huge jerks and are going to stay that way >:( ?
3 tags
I need more friends so I can go with someone tomorrow to the Bluth Frozen Banana stand at the Grove!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cantankerouscrab:
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
tablespoons:
those albums that you can listen to straight through without skipping any songs
candlebud:
cuntused:
candlebud:
people that wish dragons were real
are you sure
ARE
YOU
POSITIVE
The last one is fake. It’s deathwing from wow.
sorry guys you caught me. all of the other pictures are real dragons
dingoinnuendo:
wwebkinz:
dingoinnuendo:
makin my way downtown
have you accepted jesus christ as your lord and savior
walkin faster
oh-woah-dope:
since this is yahoo, can someone help me please?
i held a girl’s hand the other day and she didn’t come to school for like a week. did i made her pregnant?
whiskey-memories:
bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
cantankerouscrab:
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
